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[personal profile] kuzon
This isn’t really a rant. But more like a deep thought, but maybe it is a rant in some places. I really enjoy drawing and dancing. I’ve done them respectively since 2009, being 15 at that time. I’m 19 going on 20 in a couple months. I was also suggested by my sister that I become an YouTube celebrity known for my, “Child like” looks, personality and deep thinking. But I can’t picture myself talking about like an album or what I just ate. Whether my personality is quirky or comically angry or stereotypically gay. It would just bore me. From then on, I’ve been looking at myself really hard at my specialties or abilities to improve. Lately, I’ve been longing to do something new. Like maybe music, despite how much I suck at it. I’ve slightly wanted to improve my voice so I don’t sound weak and/or learn an instrument; more specifically, a piano or a guitar. And if I do go for music, it would be great to see what lyrics I could write or what melody sounds catchy. Maybe I could take part of a band that specialises in Alternative Rock or experimental music. I would have to work extra hard at it and it be a very long way till I would play music well. My gut instincts are telling me that I should try it out to see if I would like it though. I’ve also considered being a freelance artist. I’ve wanted to try writing children’s books or try out animation when I do become one. I’ve wanted to do some dancing as well, but my interest in it have been wavering around about it. I also don’t want to do an academic career. Especially not computer science, which my mom may be little bit forcing on me. I hate coding because I’m not expressing myself. I really want to do what I can to express myself whether it’s art or music or dancing. I’m just starting to lose my direction on what’s right or wrong. And if I think too much about it or focus on one and abandon the other, it would be too late. So I don’t know what else to do with my future. I want to be successful at something that I know that I love doing, and I could even do music and art and dancing at the same time; I just don’t want to make the wrong decision of finding my potential. Maybe I’m just whining or being a grouch about it. It’s just really hard to see what will lie ahead. And I will have to work really hard to see if I’ll do the right thing or not. But in the end, it’ll hopefully be worth it.

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Kuzon :D

October 2013

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